Yesteryear
by Iia
Summary: Yesteryear, there was an 'us', but she doesn't remember. [Suigetsu x Karin]


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, or it's characters. D8 I own my wife, Kairi. Kinda. XD I also don't own the lyrics used in the beginning and end of the fic. They are owned by Madina Lake, which is an awesome band, by the way.

**A/N:** So yeah. Wednesday I was supposed to go meet a friend, but it didn't happen. I was SO upset, and so I let it allll out in this fic. I'm very glad I got it all out. xD I did have a hard time with the ending, though.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

**----------**

_I remember when you were falling,  
And I was there just holding onto you.  
And I remember all those  
Scars I wear that you carved in me._

**----------**

She walks ahead of the group, ruby hair swaying from side to side as the seaside breeze hits her, allowing the sun to create dancing patterns of shine across the uneven strands.

In this instant, he thinks she's gorgeous. In this instant, he can forgot what's happened, spare a moment from thinking what the hell went wrong.

In this instant, it's like he's seeing the Karin he _used_ to play with, _used_ to know...

Used to _love_.

And with a sudden weight in his chest, he stops walking.

She doesn't, and he can feel the ridiculous panic rising into his throat. His mind flashes to a similar scene, and he simply can_not_ allow her to walk away like that while he's watching her. He's tried to deny it a thousand times, but her walking away again will only shatter whatever piece of heart he had left. And he simply can't afford it.

"Man, I'm tired!" he sighs, using the same damn excuse he uses every time. "Sasuke, let's take a break!"

Sasuke turns to look at the male behind him. He's going to protest, but when he sees Suigetsu's eyes glance at Karin, and a bead of sweat roll down the side of his jaw, he decides to think otherwise.

"Okay. Karin, Juugo, we're going to rest for a few minutes."

Karin's shoulders lift and fall in an aggravated sigh, but she stops walking, and that's all it takes for Suigetsu to breath easier and slump to the ground, only half-pretending to be exhausted.

**----------**

_A thirteen-year-old is sitting in the middle of a meadow. Her hair contrasts against the white flowers dancing across the field. The boy laughs at the odds; His hair is snow white, like the flowers, and hers is crimson, and he can't help but notice how her sitting in that field looks like a stain. Red on a white slate. A bloodstain, indeed._

_And God, she's breathtaking._

_He sneaks behind her, arms cradling a bulk object behind his back. She's too busy picking at a white bud, content with just that. After all, it isn't everyday Orochimaru gives you a day to play in the fields covering the base. And Suigetsu wishes that one day the base will no longer exist, and it would just be them. And they'd play until they grew up, and then they'd go somewhere and just live freely. Together._

"_Psst," he whispers, nearly right behind her, and he smirks. She immediately turns around, and in an instant an arm is wrapped around her shoulders, and a flash of light invades her sight._

_Laughter fills the girl's ears, and Suigetsu watches as she stands up and stares at him._

"_Suigetsu? What was that?!"_

_Suigetsu snickers, revealing the old, bulky camera in his hands. A photo slowly ejects from the front, and Karin stares at the item, before grinning herself._

"_Where'd you find that?" she asks. Suigetsu shrugs._

"_I was digging through some of Kabuto's old stuff! They have some really neat things in there!"_

_The girl gasps, but the look in those bright, red eyes tells him that she is just as interested and amused._

"_You can't go through his stuff!" she fusses, but her growing grin makes it impossible to have any effect._

"_Too late now!" he laughs, grabbing the photo from the camera and waving it around. Once the picture forms, he looks at it, and for an instant, his smile turns soft._

_He's staring the camera, a toothy smile, and she's smiling, too. But she..._

_She's looking straight at him, and Suigetsu feels some sort of pride that he can be someone's _someone._ He loves it. He smiles for the world, and she smiles for_ him.

_Without warning, her hand shoots for the photo. He is too quick, however, and they spend half an hour just running and chasing, yelling nonsense insults at each other and laughing at their own childishness._

_Finally, Karin catches the boy, and they tumble deep into the white flowers, laughing and giggling. The light passes through the long grass, and creates spots of light on the pair._

_With an "Aha!", Karin sits on the boy and snatches the photo away. She looks at it, and shakes her head, a frown on her face._

"_Tsk. See you? Ruining this picture with your ugly _face_!"_

_She laughs, and Suigetsu feigns a gasp of shock and hurt, before taking the photo back and shoving it, albeit carefully, into his pocket._

_And just as his face looks up from his pants, lips softly press down to his._

_And he thinks he's in love._

**----------**

The fire casts an orange glow throughout the dark campsite. The moon says it's around two in the morning now, and Suigetsu allows himself to sit calmly on the sandy ground and reach into his pocket. It is his guard shift, but Suigetsu knows that they are in the middle of nowhere, and there are no enemies around.

He pulls out a Polaroid, and holds it up at an angle so that the light from the flames hits the photo. The edges are bent and turned, and the whites in the picture have a yellowed tint. He lets out a deep breath, and curses himself when it come out in quivers.

A boy and girl, younger than he. The boy is grinning at the camera, sharp teeth revealed. The girl is turned towards him, a content smile on her face.

He stares at the picture long enough for him to scream, but everyone is sleeping, _she_ is sleeping, and the peace and silence of the night is the only thing telling him to keep his act together.

With a glare, he chucks the picture into the fire and instead of watching it burn. He turns around and watches the constellations in the sky.

**----------**

_They are at a different base now, and once again the snake sannin has let them play in the open. This time they are a year older, sitting on a rock large enough to lay out on, and the ocean only four feet away._

_He is sitting with his legs spread open, and she sits in between, leaning against his muscular frame. His arms are wrapped around her, and she holds his hands in hers, quietly massaging his palms with her thumbs._

"_Water, huh? Fits you just fine, Suigetsu," she says with a grin. His face buries into soft red hair and with a smile he kisses the back of her head. He nods into her hair, and just to prove it to her, his fingers melt into the purest of water. Karin laughs, and cupping the pool of liquid in her hands, she dips her head down and almost greedily, drinks it all._

_Suigetsu immediately feels a strange tingling, as if a piece of him were missing. He takes no heed; _these_ moments, and _this_ girl are all he'll ever need to get by in life, and he has never been so sure of anything in his fourteen years of living. He thanks whatever presence is up there watching him, for allowing him to be kidnaped by the Sound and meeting her. Because murdering someone piece by piece can never compare to what he feels when Karin is with him. And he knows she loves him too, and he'll let himself be experimented on a million times if it means he can just sit with her like he is now._

"_What are you doing, woman?" he asks, moving his head to rest on her shoulder. "I can't see with your big head in the way!"_

_His teasing gets him a kick in the leg, but it's harmless, and so he laughs with her._

_The last experiment on her resulted in a need for glasses, but neither care. Suigetsu thinks the thin, oval frames look good on her, and that's all she needs to hear to approve of them as well. _

_Despite the loss of water, Suigetsu is easily able to form his fingers again. They intertwine with hers, and both teenagers are quiet as an orange ball of sun sets over the ocean's horizon._

_One day, he thinks, they will go there, over the horizon. And they'll be happy forever, because they'll be _together_ forever. And he'll make sure of it._

_Karin is surprised when Suigetsu's lips meet the corner of her mouth, but she is all too willing to turn her head and kiss him back. She is his, he thinks. And he is hers._

_She is due for another experiment tomorrow, and he holds her tight as they create a parade of kisses. He won't see her again for a handful of days._

**----------**

Blood and water is gushing from his side, and his chest is burning enough to prevent him from breathing, but it is the farthest thing from his mind right now.

Her throat is cut wide open, and she is dying. She is _dying_. Oh _God_, she's _DYING_ and there's _nothing_ he can do but yell at the battle ahead in a panic-stricken fury for the pink-haired girl he's only met an hour ago in the midst of battle.

"Fuck it all to hell.**SAKURA**! Dammit, SAKURA I NEED YOU OVER HERE!"

The girl he is calling is in the middle of combating a male with an Akatsuki cloak and an orange mask, but almost as if in response to his cries, Uchiha Sasuke is in front of the girl, and it allows her to run over to the sidelines where he and Karin are stationed.

"Oh God, your side," she trembles. She can immediately tell that the unconscious redhead is seriously injured, but she is focused on his side, ripped open from what she could only assume is Kisame's Samehada.

A green glow immediately covers her hands, but they are not going to Karin, they are inching towards the side of his waist. Sakura knows who to treat first, but Suigetsu is no medic, and in his eyes, the only thing that is stopping this _stupid bitch_ from getting her head chopped off for being so ignorant is that she is the _only_ one who can fix this.

"Not _me_, dammit! _Karin_! Fix her! She's _dying_! _Fix her_! Stop looking at me and _**FIX HER**_!"

Sakura immediately understands when Suigetsu's eyes are moist with fear of losing this girl. Yes, she understands the pain of this well, and without a second thought, her hands are hovering above Karin's throat. Suigetsu can only shudder and whisper, "Thank you, God," as he watches the color slowly crawl into her lifeless face.

Sakura is turned towards him again.

"Your side _needs_ to be hea-"

"No. Don't bring a goddamned_ finger_ of yours near me until she is okay," he bites back. Sakura nods, checking all of Karin's vitals (because she now knows Suigetsu is stubborn and needs her condition to be proven, despite her knowledge) again, and after a confirmation, Suigetsu finally allows her to close the gaping wound on his side.

Sakura looks at Karin, and back at the white-haired man sitting next to her.

"She'll be fine, but she's not safe here. We can handle them. Take her and_ run_,"

Suigetsu looks at Sakura like she isn't from this world. They are in the middle of a battle, and...

They are in the middle of a _losing_ battle, he realizes.

And Suigetsu doesn't know what he would do if Karin died.

He knows one thing for sure. He knows the Karin he loved is already dead.

But he cannot help but need this woman alive, whether he hates her, or she hates him or not. He _needs_ her, because even if she's not the Karin he once knew, it wasn't Karin's choice to change, and he cannot blame her for their misfortune.

He _cannot _lose her again, and so with a quick nod of thanks, the man carefully picks the ruby-haired girl up and into his arms, and by the time the tears are visible (she is so close to his chest, and it's like his heart is breaking all over again), Sakura is already jumping back into the ongoing fight.

There used to be a 'them', Sakura mulls over sadly in her mind. A 'Suigetsu and Karin'. It was so easy to see it's existence through Suigetsu's eyes alone. But he medical knowledge could fill in the holes just as easily, and Sakura couldn't help but choke a sob over a surely sad story before striking the ground with a gloved fist in an attempt to off-balance the enemy.

There used to be a 'them', she knows. But Karin doesn't remember.

**----------**

"_It's such a shame," the boy laughs out as he glances back, smiling at the girl he is giving a piggy back ride to. She grins, and one slender arm uncoils from his neck and softly caresses his cheek with the tips of finger. He breaths out at her touch, and he almost forgets his train of thought._

"_You could kick my ass at hide and seek now, but we're too old for that now."_

_Her head falls on his shoulder, and she gives him a soft smile. It's beautiful, he thinks. Beautiful and sad._

_He stops and gently puts her down onto the sand of the beach, and turns towards her. A hand softly pulls her chin up, and he immediately frowns when behind the glasses, her crimson eyes fill with tears._

"_Karin...what's wrong?"_

_He watches her bring her hands to her chest, and it takes a good strain to his ears to make out her whispered words._

"_If you go away, I can track you...I could find you then, r-right?"_

_Suigetsu is worried now, and with a frown he lifts up the girl's glasses and gently pushes her tears away with his thumb._

"_Why do you say that?"_

_Her hands grab his wrist, and a looks of fear is evident on her face._

"_I feel like I'm going to lose y-"_

_She is cut off as Suigetsu presses his lips against hers with more force than he's ever had before. Strong arms wrap tightly around her, and he is bent on stopping her from thinking._

_After the emotional intimacy, he looks into her eyes, and Karin has never seen Suigetsu look so serious in their three years of being together._

"_I will _never_ leave you. You will never have to look for me, because I will_ always_ be here with you. I'll follow you anywhere. Don't worry. Don't cry."_

_Shaking with sobs, the girl can only walk into his chest, and wait for the arms to pull her into him, which happens the instant she buries her face in his shirt._

"_I am yours," he speaks softly, and he has never spoken more truth in his life._

"_I _love_ you. I won't leave you, I'll never leave you. You won't lose me._ Ever_."_

**----------**

Life is disgustingly ironic sometimes.

Itachi is still alive, and Sasuke continues with the Team Hebi mission.

Ironic it was, that yesteryears ago, he'd do anything to stay by her side, and now he finds himself wishing he could just dissapear.

Karin's fist makes contact with his cheek, and Juugo and Sasuke's eyes widen as for once, Suigetsu does not materialize to water.

The side of Suigetsu face stings and turns red. He looks at the ground and not her, because he can hear her sobs, and just hearing them pulls at his heartstrings too much.

"You IDIOT," she screams, tears well down her cheeks already. And they keep coming.

"You filthy, stupid, bastard! **YOU **_**COWARD**_!"

Suigetsu winces, not even trying to hide behind a smug mask anymore.

"How could you even THINK about running?!"

Iwas running for you, dammit. You needed to be safe. Sasuke doesn't matter, he thinks.

_Only __**you**__ matter._

"Were you even thinking at all?! MORON," she cried, "He's _**DEAF**_. He's permanently _DEAF_ and it's YOUR FAULT. You ran off like the little piece of shit you are, and _**HE'S DEAF**_! YOU–"

In an instant Sasuke is holding Karin's arms behind her.

"Enough," is all he says, voice not purposely louder than usual. He cannot hear what Karin is saying to Suigetsu, but he's never seen Suigetsu look so defeated, and he will not allow Karin to weaken Suigetsu to this state.

Karin struggles against the Uchiha's grip, but immediately gives up. She's cried and screamed so much, she's tired herself out.

"Sasuke..." she sobs, and though Sasuke himself cannot hear, Suigetsu can, and he bites the inside of his cheek so hard, a second later he's spitting out blood.

Sasuke silently pulls Karin back to the fire, and when she is sitting down, he walks up to Suigetsu, eyeing his red cheek, and fishing in his pants pocket.

"You can't let her make you weak," he says, brows furrowing in irritation. Suigetsu knows that it is because he cannot hear himself. Suigetsu does not pity Sasuke in the least.

"You don't understand," he spits like a curse, nothing but anger and fury and _**hurt**_ flashing in his sharp eyes. He knows Sasuke can't hear him, but Sasuke can _see_ him, and without another attempt at an explanation he can't say aloud, he walks away just as Sasuke finds the item he was looking for. A possession of Suigetsu's he knew the man may want back one day.

But Suigetsu was already off into the distance.

**----------**

_Orochimaru was going to die. Him, and Kabuto, and every single fucking bastard that had a part in this were _DEAD

"_KARIN!" he yells, fiercely struggling to escape from the trap he is in. Guards are all around him, and it takes two guards to physically hold him down, five jutsu techniques, and a shit load of wire and rope to keep him from running forward and breaking that asshole's face in._

_The snake-eyed adult wraps an arm around Karin's shoulder and smirks, and Suigetsu promises that if it is the last thing he does, he is going to _murder_ him._

_Karin blinks at the violent nature of the trapped boy in front of her, before raising an eyebrow._

"_What's up with that guy? What's his problem?!"_

_Orochimaru looks at Karin and sighs, patting her shoulder._

"_He's a tough one," he says, and looks back at Suigetsu._

"_His name is Suigetsu. A newcomer."_

_Karin looks at the boy with a disgusted look on her face, and Suigetsu can't understand what she's doing, why she's looking at him like she doesn't even know who he is, and why she's believing the lies Orochimaru is feeding her._

"_He's insane," she says, and without the playful smirk and tone, it's painful._

_Suigetsu bites his lip, but he doesn't mind when he feels warm blood mixed with water trickle down his chin. The sight causes Orochimaru to give him an ear-to-ear grin, and Suigetsu knows._

_This man is evil. _He_ is the insane one._

_He should have taken her, he thinks. They should have run away._

_But before Suigetsu can say anything, Kabuto is right at his side, giving him a similar grin. Suigetsu knows that something has gone terribly wrong, and he __**knows**__ that the problem is the Sound leader's doing. It is the lackey that only makes his fears come to life._

"_Lost all of her memories of you, Suigetsu-kun," he chuckled. "You see, Orochimaru-sama thinks she's a lovely girl. Lovely enough to run one of the prisoner bases all by herself. And of course, we can't let her have a troublesome boyfriend to ruin her loyalty, now can we? And look at the amazing first impression you've given her!"_

_Suigetsu's eyes are wide, and a cold sweat works onto his face._

_Kabuto is so close to his ear, he can feel the breath against his skin._

"_Keke...Maybe this is what you get for taking things that don't belong to you."_

_Suigetsu remembers an old camera and a field of snow white flowers._

_And his blood is boiling now._

"_You__son of a bitch!" he roars, and despite all of the traps to keep him restrained, he suddenly breaks through and throws a fist at the silver-haired nin. Kabuto easily dodges, and Suigetsu finds himself facing six poison needles ready to kill him the instant they tear skin._

_He freezes, and it's enough to be recaptured, the bonds stronger tenfold. Kabuto lets out a laugh, and walks to Orochimaru, handing him some vile of liquid before exiting the scene._

_Suigetsu watches with absolute rage as Orochimaru leans in and whispers something into Karin's ear before following Kabuto's path, and she nods with a smile._

_But it's not _her_ smile. It's just like that ugly pale bastard's, and the realization that he's already lost her is hitting him like a ton of bricks._

_He feels sick._

_She looks at him with a mix of annoyance and confusion, and with a scoff she turns around, heading towards the door._

"_No..." he shudders, but it's barely above a whisper, and Suigetsu doesn't think he can make his voice any louder._

_She either doesn't hear her, or doesn't care, and when the last of her red locks disappears behind the corner of the door, Suigetsu knows it's done._

_The next time he sees her, she won't be Karin._

_Won't be _his

_And he blacks out._

**----------**

_When Sasuke releases him from his prison, he's already heard the rumors of Orochimaru's demise. The Uchiha had gotten first blood._

_But it's okay. Because he just doesn't care anymore. He's seen the red head around every now and them._

_She's long gone._

**----------**

Juugo's back is against a tree, eyes wide, and he's trembling enough to cause a miniature earthquake. Snakes are wrapped around him, holding him down, but it's much too late. Blood, water, and sweat have drenched his entire body, and he screams, wishing this _wasn't_ happening, wishing that Sasuke had just left him in that cell like he had asked him to long ago.

But it's much too late, now.

Sasuke curses himself for the umpteenth time. He curses the blonde artist from Akatsuki whose explosions caused his loss of sound. He curses Itachi. He curses Juugo and Karin and Suigetsu himself. And then he curses himself again.

He didn't hear them fighting. And by the time Karin had come running, pointing to the distance, mouthing '_Fight_.', he knew that this was not going to end well.

It ends worse.

Karin is looking at Suigetsu's colorless body with some look of apathy. Sasuke doesn't think he understands women like Karin, but he thinks he may understand men like Suigetsu, and so he reaches into the side of his sandal, and pulls out a Polaroid.

He gives it to Karin, and she blinks at the frayed, burnt, and torn edges before looking at the picture itself.

There is a boy, and there is a girl.

_Suigetsu and Karin._

They are smiling.

Karin frowns.

"What is this?"

Sasuke doesn't move, doesn't blink. He is just staring at Suigetsu, lying in a pool of watery crimson, eyes closed, and chest ripped open, exposing shattered ribs and punctured lungs.

A broken heart.

Sasuke nearly chokes at the irony of it all.

"Sasuke, what is this picture?" she asks again. He doesn't move. He can't hear her.

"He loved you," he murmurs, not aware that his volume isn't loud enough for anyone to hear, before sighing and forming a seal.

It's too late now, and all Sasuke thinks he can do is remove the bloody sight from their sight as quickly as possible.

Karin's red eyes are distracted when Suigetsu's cold body is licked by scorching flames. It's a pathetic time to die, she thinks. It's midday, the sun is shining, and she can hear birds in the distance.

Without a second thought, the picture is thrown into the flames. She doesn't know, and she doesn't care. Sasuke and Juugo turn to face her. Her face is impassive.

"It only took you long enough, Juugo."

He'll make a nice bloodstain for the dirt.

**----------**

_I gave you everything you wanted.  
And now, I know your giving me up._

**----------**

* * *

**A/N:** Inspiration music is as follows: "One Last Kiss" - Madina Lake (which were te lyrics I used), "Currents" - Dashboard Confessional, "So I Thought" - Flyleaf, and "Franklin" - Paramore. So that's the stuff I was listening to wren I wrote this.

Babysitting, so not a lot of time to write. XD If you guys have questions or anything, just ask by messaging me or reviewing, and I'll get back to you. -loves-

Hope you liked it! SuiKa forever!

Toodles! D


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